Communication Tips for Cruising Couples

Sailing as a couple is a rewarding way to share your passion for boating and discovering new places. The teamwork required on board strengthens the bond between cruising couples, but even the most experienced crews can face communication breakdowns, leading to hurt feelings and even possible safety risks. Use these top tips for sailing communication and harmony on your next voyage:

Define roles and responsibilities and create a clear plan before you leave the dock.

Often, ambiguity is at the root of conflict on a sailing crew. Before departure, agree on who is responsible for specific tasks such as navigation and choosing mooring or anchorage locations. Briefly outline the goals for the day and the steps that you will take together to accomplish them. Of course, some flexibility might be needed in unexpected circumstances, but if everyone knows what is expected of them from the beginning, sailing communication will be stronger.

Separate the romantic relationship from the onboard relationship.

Understand that operational communication is about the boat, not the relationship. Successful cruising couples treat communication as another skill to master, much like trimming the sails— it is about constantly checking in and readjusting! A course correction or sail adjustment need not be taken as a personal attack. If you feel yourself getting upset, focus on resolving the tasks at hand and address the communication issue later when you are anchored and rested.

Invest in reliable headset communication.

Thanks to the constant noise from the wind and waves, it can be difficult to hear one another on deck. You may also need to communicate with your spouse from the helm while they are elsewhere on the boat. Even the closest cruising couples can find sailing communication frustrating, leading to unnecessary arguments. Instead of shouting and misunderstanding each other, add a pair of wireless Bluetooth headsets to your sailing gear, allowing you to communicate calmly and efficiently when quick decisions are needed. Because fighting with a partner is a sure way to sour a voyage, wireless Bluetooth headsets ensure peaceful discourse and a happier sailing experience!

Debrief often.

After a challenging or tense situation, take the time to debrief once the situation has calmed down. Discuss what worked, what did not, and how communication could be improved next time. Keep the tone constructive, focusing on the future rather than on past mistakes. Even on easy days, a short evening debrief can be a valuable way to grow as sailors and partners. 

Take a sailing course.

Taking a cruising couples sailing course with Go Sail Virgin Islands can help you learn new, improved ways of communicating onboard a sailboat. It also allows a third party (your ASA instructor) to be the one giving advice and tips— which can be more pleasant than feeling like your spouse is telling you what to do!